THANK YOU FOR EATING MY PUSSY… by Allie Marini

I love this poem, inspired by a Facebook thread yesterday. If you haven’t been following Cat Conway’s new project Thank You for Swallowing, you really should be. It’s funny, witty, gritty, emotional, and has just the right amount of snark to make you smirk.

And this week, a bonus! Click below the text to hear Allie read her poem!!!

Thank You for Eating My Pussy, After Reading Susan Yount’s You’re Welcome! I Love Swallowing Your Cum! After Reading Bobby Parker’s Thank You For Swallowing My Cum

I tell raccoons on the street, “Hey little bandits, he ate my pussy!” I told the shy feral cats at the end of the block, “Do not be afraid, for he ate my pussy, but it’s totally different, just slang, he’s not going to eat YOU!” I even told my dad but he hit his funnybone on the La-Z-Boy, & then told me a bunch of disheartening stories about my childhood as my mom expertly used her teeth as a bottle opener for a beer

whose head was as weak as what I got after my cheap wedding dress spilled below

the lonely marital bed. While puking into the porcelain

on a gloomy day in Santa Cruz last month, I jabbed

my fingers down my raw throat & whispered, “Hey toilet,

he ate my pussy!” but it flushed between noisy stalls

as water overflowed on my boots & my ex-husband hates me.

Or he sometimes hates me. And he never ate my pussy.

What are you doing? Where are you going? I’m not okay!

Can you get me something? I won’t eat your pussy

but you could make me a sandwich. I could probably

Tweet him, make sure he’ll get pissed for writing this

poem. I want to make him feel emasculated;

emasculated that he saw himself dirty in my company, my menstruation

sewage pipe; emasculated that I saw him happily living

as his fingers circled sad orgasms onto my hairless vulva;

emasculated that I tell raccoons & nervous feral cats &

my confused parents & horrible, amazing,

bulimic toilet waters that Jesus Christ! when he ate

my pussy I forgot how alive I was because when I’m dying

inside his mouth I don’t even need to swallow…

Allie Marini (Batts) holds degrees from Antioch University of Los Angeles & New College of Florida, meaning she can explain deconstructionism, but cannot perform simple math. She has written eight poetry collections & is managing editor for the NonBinary Review, Unbound Octavo, & Zoetic Press. She also co-edits for Lucky Bastard Press with her man, performance poet B Deep, who doesn’t need to thank her for swallowing or tell cats, sunsets & his parents about it, because their relationship has progressed past high school. Find Allie on the web: https://www.facebook.com/AllieMariniBatts or @kiddeternity.

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